Back at it Again!

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Exercise….literally the bane of my existence. You wanna do it because you know its healthy for you and that it’ll make you hot. But the time that it takes and the effort to get dressed, drive over and get inside that gym just makes ya cringe. Honestly, I’ve had this year long membership with Goodlife Fitness and I think I’ve gone to the gym maybe 10 times so far. However! I am starting to get back on track with a twice a week system. I’ve made a promise to myself to go for at least an hour and 1/2 to the gym every Tuesday’s and Thursday’s, starting now. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but for me it is quite a bit. I work part time, go to school full-time, and I’m always out and about. So getting myself to the gym has always been an issue :$….

I think the biggest thing for me though is my anxiety, I do have general anxiety disorder and whenever I enter a place I just feel everyone’s eyes on me. Like yes, I know I’m bigger but I’m trying to make a difference in my life, and they look at you as if your not welcome there like >.> really?! bitch I will fight you! >.< However, I just put on my overhead headphones and try and drown out the stares.

What do you guys do to cope with anxiety? and people staring at you? Also, does anyone else that reads this go to the gym too? Let me know in the comments :$

Thanks for reading,

Kamaria J

WolfHowls For Everywolf!

 

 

The OAVT Conference

So Friday and Saturday of this week was a blast. During those days, I went to the Annual OAVT Conference in Etobicoke/Toronto area. OAVT is the Ontario Association of Veterinarian Technicians, which I am currently a student member of. For the conference, we were fed breakfast and lunch including dessert and drinks. (Which btw was amazing! XD) In addition, there were lectures to attend and booths with representatives from different companies to talk to and to get free shit X$. I mean come on, who doesn’t love free stuff? :P. For both days I attended with my friend Hailey from my program at school, which was how we found out about the conference. And both days we were twinning so hard core XD.

 

 

The amount of free shit I got was amazing XD There was soo much to grab and take home.

And that was just the first day XD, the second day I didn’t get as much because I visited all of those booths already but nonetheless I still got quite a bit. In addition, I also purchased a hand made stethoscope. I had passed by this booth twice and I was so curious about it so I finally decided to stop by and see what it was about. The lady was selling hand painted stethoscope heads with all the proper technical equipment to boot. So it was both unique and functional for me in practice/school. At first I was set on getting a head with my zodiac sign on it. However, the only colour that was available was bright orange, and that didn’t match my (of course! XD) purple/lavender tubing. So with that out of my head I couldn’t decide which one I wanted. Seeing me struggle, she pulled out one that she said was the only one she ever made, so its the first of its kind and the only one in existence around the world. So that sealed the deal for me (with of course help from my friends Elena and Hailey cause I’m such an indecisive person XD). image1

Beautiful eh? I am super happy with my purchase, and since I got it at the conference I was given at 15% discount! I’d recommend everyone to check out her website :3. Especially for people in the medical field who want a snazzy unique look. All in all I had a fabulous time and I can’t wait to do it all again next year.

What did you do this weekend? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading,

Kamaria J.

WolfHowls for Everywolf!

Stuffed Animals: The Little Humans We Sleep With

Stuffed animals, Stuffies, Bears, Lovers, whatever you call your special friend (Hey I ain’t judging 😉 ) for almost any person, they enter into our lives to stay. There is just something about holding a plush, cotton or silky toy that calms us right down. For me it was a way of coping growing up without a pet throughout my childhood. (My parents worked all the time and I was always away at school or being babysat by my grandparents so no pets at all, I know! tragic right? :/) It’s also a way to be comforted when your sad, when you just need a giant hug from something cute and soft.

When I say they enter to stay, its because its sooo hard to get rid of just one. I know that I have over at least 100 stuffed animals laying in my room and closet and I can’t part with any of them because of the memories and times that I’ve shared and had with them. I like to regard them as Little Humans who are a person’s first best friend. When your a baby, what’s the first thing your parents buy you? That’s right, a stuffed animal. So having this toy with you throughout your growing life; you talk to it, tell it stories, hold it while crying, run around the house with it chasing after something. Its there through everything. A non-judging, all-secret-holding little human that (of course 😉 ) totally talked back to you 😛

Even the thought of my mom asking me to clean out my closet, which we all know is mom speak for you better throw out shit cause you have too much shit, makes me cringe. And of course, the addiction of having them all because every time you walk into a store or a holiday roles around that’s all you can think about is adding another to that collection. And hopefully getting it without your mom noticing, so she doesn’t comment stupid things like ok you got this one, now you need to throw 3 out to have that 1. Like COME ON MOM!!! What da hell man? X$

So I spend my adult days, looking and going through my little friends. Of course I aint getting rid of any one of them, and of course I’m using the excuse of Ill do it tomorrow or Oh! Ill give that to my kid one day! (Yeah right, like my kids are getting my stuffies lolz go buy your own 😉 lmfao) But I digress, stuffed animals in general are just awesome to have and keep. And for anyone that thinks its weird trust me, go out, buy yourself a stuffed animal, and watch how fast you start cuddling with it, talking to it and naming it. Its human nature :P.

So what’s your favourite stuffy? (I can’t choose honestly, but if I could say a category I’d say my horse ones :P) Let me know in the comments!! 😀

 

Thanks for reading,

Kamaria J.

WolfHowls for Everywolf!

The Jealousy is Strong with This One

(Ooooo Star Wars reference ftw. ;P)

Jealousy. Oh man its a difficult topic. Why so difficult? It’s because jealousy hits and affects people in soo many different ways. Where one person may see another’s jealousy unjustified, that person is feeling it all too real. As human beings we all feel jealousy. It’s in our nature to be possessive over certain aspects and if that object, person, or place is taken from us, jealousy will set in.

So where am I going with this topic? Well today I felt the worst kind of jealousy, well in my mind is the worst. Unfortunately, since I live far away from my boyfriend, I have to leave my kittens that we adopted together, from the animal shelter at his place. With my brother being allergic, and my parents not allowing pets in the house, there was no where else for them to stay. Now I don’t have any issues whatsoever with leaving them with my boyfriend, I know that with him they are safe and receiving the best care that they can. However, (and this is where jealousy seeped in) its obvious who they now gravitate towards. Because I can only stay for a few days sometimes only a week out of every month due to school, the kittens spend more time with him and his dad then they do with me. So even though I’m their mom, it doesn’t always feel like it because they would rather sit on his lap or cuddle with him or nuzzle him. So this morning was no exception when my boy Bruce (Batman) decided to lean up against my boyfriend in bed instead of me, slept beside him all night and then there was just me…feeling very alone and jealous.

Now I know they don’t mean anything by it. Come on, how can I blame a cat for loving someone more that they see everyday? That wouldn’t be fair at all. But I guess, its just the motion of the act and the feelings starting to set in. Sigh, I cant wait for the day when I can move in permanently and they can see me everyday…

Now as I said this is a difficult topic, cause there will be a lot of you wolves out there that disagree with how I’m feeling, that my jealousy is unjustified and wrong. However, its a free world, free speech, and this is my blog, soo yeah ;).

What jealousy have you wolves felt today? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading,

Kamaria J.

WolfHowls for Everywolf!

PS. For all of those that are wondering, I call my subscribers on youtube, wolves cause we are the wolfpack 🙂 So I just decided to carry that over to this blog. If you wanna join the wolfpack, please subscribe today @KamariaJ. (Hey! that rhymed 😉 )

Long Distance Relationships: Why?

Last night, I arrived in Waterloo. I began visiting Waterloo a year ago when I started dating my boyfriend Colin. Being a small town girl, born and raised in a gated community, ever sheltered by my parents, big cities always seemed so far away. Like a dream. So when Colin, invited me to come down the first time, I aint gonna lie, I was scared shitless.

Let me back up for a second, Colin and I met online via the dating site POF (Plenty of Fish). Now I know there are a lot of critics out there that absolutely can not stand online relationships, or trying to find that special someone online. Most people regard online things as ways to “hook up” with people or to have romantic sexting partners. And lets face it, a lot of guys that girls meet online can be pyscho, cray, waayy too clingy, waay too distant or all of the above. However, there are those few moments where people can come together. The people who are serious about finding that special someone that just so happens to not be in their town. I was always an online person, I hate meeting people for the first time because number one: Im shy as shit, and number two: first impressions are such a big thing to me that I’m nervous and scared af to try and make myself presentable and I guess acceptable to this guy. So I guess I turned to online resources to try and put myself out there but also not physically because I’m using technology instead of me going to a bar or a party. And let’s face it with the way I look its hard to pick up guys XD. (Filters all of ze way!! lolz)

Anyways, Colin messaged me and at first I was skeptical it would go anywhere. In the past, I had my heart broken many times and I had a lot of trust issues. However, I believed that love one day would come to me, I just had to work to find it. So I gave it a shot, and it turned out to be the best decision I ever made. We talked for 4 days and he already asked me out. That’s how big of a connection we made. He was me in male form and I truly found my soul mate. In addition, as they say, opposites attract. And we were truly opposites. Its weird to say someone is exactly like you but also the opposite. But that’s literally how we are. We have a lot of differing opinions and yes that does lead to slight arguments, but since we get each other we are able to come to terms and figure out our differences.

So how did we come face to face you may ask? Well, because I was in such a strict family, going anywhere was hard. So of course I had to do the thing that kids have to do with their parents in tough situations…I had to lie. Yes I know! It was bad <.>. But I had to know if this was the man for me. So I started my plan. At the time I was in my first semester of college. And it was reading week, which for all of you that don’t know, its a week we get off of school to relax and ready ourselves for the upcoming exams. So I told my parents that I was heading to a party at my friends place in Toronto and that I would be back the weekend of (it was a Monday). I went with my friend to her place in downtown Toronto via subway and buses to ready myself to travel to Waterloo. (PS. I didn’t have a car, nor did my boyfriend at the time which is why busing was the only way down, of course me being me I forgot my frickin sweater at my friends place which caused us to not become friends but that’s a whooole other story for later :$) The morning of that Tuesday, I gathered my things (not the sweater cause I’m a slight idiot) >.> and bused all the way down to Waterloo. (Which, if your wondering btw, took me from 5:00am-8:00pm to get there, yes I do a lot of things for love lolz.)

When I got there I was nervous as shit, and all I wanted to do was throw up or get back on the bus, but I just had to know. I texted my boyfriend and he said he was coming to meet me. During that time it was winter, and it was cold as hell outside, the snow was thick and falling and of course my whole face was red with cold and my nose was running like crazy, and I was panicking because I thought I looked like shit (with busing all day, I was wearing sweats with minimal makeup and my hair was a mess) I was embarrassed and hoped that he wouldn’t notice. And then I saw him, walking towards me down the sidewalk, and just as soon as I looked up and our eyes met, my heart fluttered and my stomach filled with a ton of butterflies and I knew that he was the one…he waved and we met halfway. I was too nervous to speak until he looked at me and said, “Hey, you look absolutely beautiful today.” And that was it. Even now, every time I see his car pull up to pick me up, my heart flutters and my stomach fills to the brink with butterflies.

Now you may ask, why a long distance relationship? And how do you do it? First off, I live 1 hour and 45 min bus drive away from my boyfriend (not counting in the 50 min car ride to the bus stop). So yes that is considered long distance. Honestly, its gonna sound cheesy, but true love and communication, lots and lots of communication is what keeps us together. When I’m not over, we text constantly if I’m not at my parents place, (I live with my parents because of school)  and when I get home, he calls me either on voice chat or Skype. Because we are a gamer couple, we game together every chance we get. (its also a major reason we stick together) And through every thing I do, he constantly supports and encourages me to continue forward. You just have to find that one person that is able to stick with you no matter what, that is true love right there. If anyone has any questions about how to deal with having one or just how to respond to certain situations or like idk anything, feel free to comment 🙂 I love answering questions and giving advice. So don’t be shy 😛

Thanks for reading,

Kamaria J.

WolfHowls For Everywolf!

PS. For all of you that are wondering, yes my parents hate my boyfriend, yes they found out about the lie and the relationship. No I aint ashamed about how it turned out or what I had to do. Sometimes you just gotta take charge of your own life. Parents may know whats best for you at a younger age, but as soon as you become an adult (which in my books is 18-19) you need to start thinking for yourself. Because they cant hold your hand forever. And yes I do respect my parents and I do love them dearly, however I’ve also had to learn to have my own say in my life. Because they aren’t gonna walk down the aisle for me, they are gonna walk with me.